超越

Listening to : Beyond 秘密警察

Where do I find the words this time? My heart is full, my mind is full, and I can’t seem to get any of it down onto this keyboard.

When he said that last night was most probably the last stop in his Brit-accented english, the world stopped for a few heartbeats. That’s it. His “不可以哭啊,”, KK’s “二十幾年了,收工啦” and Wing’s wide smile and wave. That’s it.

I thought I wanted to blog about this weekend, to write it down so that when my memory fails, I can revisit it again. But thinking about it, I can’t bear to have these memories committed to black and white, it’s too … final.

From Chris asking me, “you want to share the room?” to me smsing her “I want! Everything! I’ve decided to take MC on Friday!”.
From my realization on to her sms telling me “Die ah nic. realisation came over me. i am trembling, how?”
From Chris telling me “Wing isn’t on the flight” to her saying “He’ll be coming tomorrow!”.
From me rushing to Orchard and back in 2 hours, by cab both ways, so I could change and rush out again to the airport.
From Chris’ delight at taking a photo with Wing to her disappointment at the black face.
From everybody rushing around excitedly, mobbing Wing, to Cuiyi and myself strolling behind and Cuiyi remarking “We stroll behind la, watch the show”.
From wondering why Jean wouldn’t join us, to our excitement when she said she would, immediately after work.
From eating prawn noodles and curry noodles to singing KTV and drinking fruit punch to pass the time.
From Chris’ excitement at meeting Paul to my disappointment at not.
From the excitement at the hotel, to eating sundaes in the relative calm of McD’s.
From taking 2 cabs along the stretch of Orchard Road, after midnight, so that we could watch 長恨歌.
From deciding to watch ‘The Skeleton Key’ because we would be too excited to sleep, to us dozing off intermittently in the cinema.
From eating McD’s again and buying my CinnamonRoll to eating popcorn, waiting for GV to decide to start screening the movie at 2.30am.
From stumbling into bed at 5am, to waking up 1pm, only to find that the other 2 were still in bed.
From eating fish and chips in Clementi to Jean deciding to smoke in the coffeeshop, because next year we wouldn’t be able to.
From taking the MRT down to the stadium, to taking a cab instead because I was too excited.
From hanging around at The Meeting Place, pretending to sell light bracelets, to the SISTIC staff approaching us, asking whether we were trying to sell them.
From waiting for Shan outside the North entrance, smoking a last cig, listening to Beyond The Story Live on my earphones, to the idiot guy approaching me to buy light braclets and his girlfriend apologizing.
From meeting Shan and walking in to the stadium together, and seeing that we were directly beside the mafia’s row and then seeing Linda’s excitement.
From our excitement everytime Hype idiotically played the ad for David Tao’s concert to Shan urging me to stand up when the lights finally dimmed.

From the excitement and exhilaration to the disappointment and the reconciliation.

From squeezing in the maxicab (thanks Dennis!!) acting like an xmm, to eating at Long Beach and Chris asking why it wasn’t XHS, to trying to decide whether to stop at Dbl O.
From hanging out at the hotel for hours, seeing the 股溝, to greeting the drunk one Good Night and asking him to sleep early and him replying he would try to, to getting reprimanded by the hotel staff because the drunk one talked too much and too loudly.
From sitting in the lobby with Jean and Chris and Cuiyi till 5am then giving up to return to the room because the other 2 had returned by another entrance, to Jean collapsing on the bed, Chris on the table and me on the floor while Cuiyi watched Discovery Channel.
From barely resting 45 minutes to waking up to rush to the airport at 6.30am in the morning.
From watching Chris and Jean hip-hop drunkenly to 香港一定得 in Orchard MRT, to suddenly thinking I was in a HongKong MRT with the 2 of them making our way to 將軍澳 in the early morning, because the 3 of us were drunk with too little sleep to seeing 家駒 in the sky with a friend.
From our “eh? eh? eh?” when we turned around and saw the tall figure with floppy hair in a white polo-tee and the shorter one beside grinning like a Cheshire cat, to our bye-byes to the very blur 阿賢 and the wide awake grinning Gary, to making up stories about how Gary had b.s.ed 阿賢 into reaching the airport and rushing for the plane 1 hour early.
From meeting a total stranger in a bookshop becuase I wanted to buy paper and envelopes, to Jean finally realising the total stranger was actually in our cab the night before, and seeing their photos taken with an already drunk guitarist, and envying his being able to have a drink with the drunk one.
From eating McD’s again because our main purpose was the McD breakfast, not 阿賢 and Gary, to buying my BadBatzMaru and deciding to take a bus back to the hotel so that we could sleep on it, to finally sleeping and drooling ourselves silly on the no. 36, to Jean waking me up suddenly because she didn’t know where to stop, and we told her we’d just take the bus straight back to the airport then.
From finally sleeping on a bed for a few minutes to eating a durian puff, looking for water, and smoking with a centipede.
From hanging out at the hotel lobby ordering the cheapest drinks to hanging at the lobby waiting for them, while Irene made silly jokes and kept us entertained.
From finally seeing Paul make his way down in his bright yellow D&G tee-shirt and short short hair and small small eyes shining with his 暗笑.
From taking a photo with him to chatting with him as he held on to his umbrella, watching his awkwardness turn into enthusiasm when talking about his music in his low voice and shaking his strong right hand with my trembling one, wondering whether I could absorb just 0。1% of his guitar skills just like that.
From seeing KK’s stony face again and his assistant snatching the plastic bag to Wing’s friendly smile.

From beginning our last weekend in blazing sunlight and ending it in weeping skies.

給珊,雖然你不知道這個部落各的存在,我還是想在這里想對你說謝謝,謝謝再謝謝。一輩子的感激,因為有你,我才有他們,有一生的記億。我不會忘記我們的1996。

給Chris﹐ 當我們發覺到彼此是Beyond歌迷時,我非常興奮終於有你﹐因為那麼多年以來﹐沒人和我一起分享。你對他們的愛和為他們付出的眼淚讓我感動。雖然認識兩年了﹐我們不是很close﹐有時候你的熱情變冷淡﹐我也不知道是為什麼﹐可是那就是你吧。感激你讓我陪你走這條永遠不會有終點的路。

給Jean﹐我想我們都是比較孤僻的人吧﹐有時跟你在一起﹐可以久久不講話﹐ 有時又覺得你有好多事情都不講出來﹐可是一開口不是語出驚人﹐就是頭頭是道。 羨慕你在Insoid展現的writing skills﹐和你跟Chris的友情。對我來講﹐愛上Beyond是一種祝福﹐很高興我們都是被祝福的一份子。

給Paul﹐ 你永遠不會知道﹐也永遠不會care﹐可是你永遠都是我的英雄。 不羈的精神是你和家駒教我的﹐雖然我不是一個很好的學生。 原則也是從你們那裡學來的﹐叛逆是你教的。 You’ve mellowed so much﹐希望我也可以學到你這一點。 Y’know, 我一直以為你會比較高﹐比較壯﹐but now I know you’re really larger than life﹐on stage or off。

給阿Wing﹐ 我很少注意到你﹐因為你很安靜﹐很low-key﹐可是你是那麼的堅強﹐讓我敬佩你。如果我能有你一小部份的堅強﹐我想我的生活會過得很不一樣。

給家強﹐你變了。你不再是一個小孩子﹐不再是家駒的細佬﹐你是一群gangsters的團長。 Diva是我幫你取的﹐ 對不起﹐我很沒有禮貌。我想﹐你有自己的路要走﹐你也有自己的苦衷吧。對我來講﹐你還是那個激發我去學彈貝斯的Beyond的貝斯手。

給家駒﹐想跟你說好多話﹐所以我會再來看你﹐希望你不會覺得很煩。煩的話﹐要記得讓我知道。 我很想見到你﹐有一天﹐應該會有機會吧。希望我到時可以跟你說 “我做到了”。

給Beyond﹐一切的切﹐我只能說謝謝。 Thanks for the memories, thanks for the music, thanks for the inspiration, thanks for my life。

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